Death to me

I don't know how to really say what is really on my mind all I know is I hurt in side like no other. I feel is if death is a dog that is sitting at the edge of my bed waiting for me to give up the one thing that I can call mine. I don't know fear him at all he has been with me since birth he tried to take me in the begging and he failed. So now he sit and waits and begs me to give up. But I don't ever give up so it is his lost he will have to wait his turn. Is it weird that I think of my death and how I will die ? I see my self always being shot by a cop. Getting pull out of a car and told to stand up and turn around and as I do I sneezed and put my hands down over my face and then the cop fires . They say when you fire a gun in fear you never fire just one bullet. So now I see my self laying on the ground and bleeding from 4 different places. The get me to the hospital and they start trying to fix me and they do but now they say I am in a coma and it's a 50/50 chances that I'll wake up.. All I think throw all of this is who would show up.. Who would show up for me . Would anybody !?