I miss u

As I sit here tap my gun to my head knowing what you said would be last I would ever hear from you. As i remember everything about you from that night . It was last time we would ever kiss. It was cold that night so I gave you my hoodie told u to keep warm and you smiled and said you will. As I sit here knowing the god has a perfect angel and knowing that you could be in better hands. But still think I had something to do with what happened that night. Maybe they were meant for me they should of be for me I was the Bastard who did everything wrong. I still don't know why but I miss you so much. Your sweet smell every morning as you walk past my window to knock on my door I alway look like I was sleeping but I was already awake just waiting for you to say my name. I still have the ring I gave you and still trying to keep that promise of becoming a better person. I have it with me always. You will always be mine and I know your resting in peace. Because you were always peaceful and so soft. I miss you so so much

Oct 27, 1998

Self confidence..

One thing I really hate is someone with no self confidence it drive me insane. Self confidence is built not given you have to feed and grow it in order to have some and what mean by feed it. Is that you have to push your self a little bit more every day and that's how you feed it. How you grow it is using it what is the point of having it if your always backing down from every thing. Get in ther and stand your ground it doesn't matter if its a small decision or a fight or just the fact you told the truth. It takes self confidence to change the world and to make it better and once you use it people will notice you in a hole new way and you will to. You won't be so scared, intimidated,worried about things it will be like a hole new day.

Now me on the other hand I think I have to much . I feed it so much now am not really scared of any thing or and body. Witch could be a bad thing as well .